While on a crowded bus today, a gentleman reached his hand out to me to guide me through the sea of people to an empty seat. I had been told that chivalry was dead, but I am happy that there is still some life in it. It always feels nice when someone makes a kind gesture. I don't think it should just be a guy girl thing either (Though to be honest, I do expect this more from men). I think that these types of gestures are nice for anyone, but especially for older ones. There used to be an unwritten code that an older person or lady was let off the elevator before a gentleman. But, sadly, those that do these things are a rare breed. Very often I see perfectly healthy young people take up the front seats on a bus, which isn't bad in itself. But, when a disabled or older person gets on, rarely do these people get up. Yet, that is what those seats are reserved for. There have been countless book written on the topic of etiquette. Most of which is outdated, but it's these little acts of kindnesses that never go out of style. These things take only a second, but have a lasting impact on the person's day.
So, gentleman, open a door for a lady. Let the older person (or lady) off the elevator first. Help someone struggling with their heavy packages. Don't worry. Most of us won't get offended, and won't think you're flirting. But, you just may help us end our bad day with a smile.
Dos and Don'ts still applicable today:
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Gentlemen should open doors for ladies. Please actually
hold the door for the lady, instead of merely flinging it open and running through, leaving her to sprint through before it slams. Open the door and step to the side while the lady passes through (perhaps saying, "After you," if she hesitates). At this point, the lady should politely thank the gentleman. He then says, "You're welcome," and, when she is through the door, goes through it himself. (
10 Rules of Chivalry Every Guy Should Know)
* Ladies precede gentlemen through every door except revolving doors. Gentlemen , if you encounter a revolving door when you are walking with a lady , you should enter it first so that you may push the door. (Of course, you should not push it too fast, so that the lady has to leap like a gazelle to enter the revolving door you've set spinning out of control.)
* It is very nice for a gentleman to help a lady into her coat. Just stand behind her and hold the coat by the shoulders while she puts her arms into it. There is no need, however, for you to button it up for her, or help her on with her mittens.
* In a bar, if there is no table service, it's nice for the gentleman to fetch the drinks.
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When you are taking seats at a theater, concert hall, movie theater, church, lecture hall, etc., the lady precedes the gentleman into the row of seats. In a restaurant, when the maitre d' is leading you to your table, the lady precedes the gentleman.
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Offer her your hand. It is a gentlemanly gesture to help your lady make it successfully through rough terrain, or up and down steps or hills, especially if you notice her wearing stilettos. (
How to Treat a Lady)
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Show her that you care. Ask how she is doing, how work went, how she feels and what she is thinking about. Take her feelings into consideration. If she had a hard day at work, suggesting to go to the ice hockey game may not be in your best interest. Instead, offer to bring in take-out and watch a movie at home together.
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Carry her bags. At the airport, don't let her struggle with luggage that is twice her size. Instead, lend a helping hand and see her to her car or to the airport bag check area. Or, if you see a lady struggling with grocery bags in the parking lot, offer to carry them for her.
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Never expect anything in return for being chivalrous. A true gentleman treats a lady properly out of his own generosity.
* A self-sufficient woman may offer to pay for you when you go out. While some men find this startling, the modern day woman enjoys being able to treat guys from time to time. Accept her offer to pay once in a while if she insists.
Note of caution: Some women might find it offensive for men to constantly display acts of chivalry, such as holding doors open. After a while, a woman may feel inclined to tell the man that she is perfectly capable of holding her own doors. Be careful that you do not overdo your social etiquette and border on the line of insulting. Gauge your gestures. If a women seems to appreciate your efforts, continue doing them. If she starts to appear impatient with them, hold back on opening the door for her every time.
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